A burning fire!...

Lying on my desk is a scrap of paper. It has been there for at least a year. You would have to see my desk to fully understand! Somehow of late it has made its way to the top, and into my view.

I wrote it, not sure how long ago, and it is headed... 

'Jeremiah 20: 7 - '

'O Lord, You have deceived me and I was deceived; You have overcome me and prevailed. I have become a laughingstock all day long; Everyone mocks me. For each time I speak, I cry aloud; I proclaim violence and destruction, because for me the word of the Lord has resulted in reproach and derision all day long. But if I say, "I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name," then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it. For I have heard the whispering of many, "Terror on every side! Denounce him; yes, let us denounce him!" All my trusted friends, watching for my fall, say: "Perhaps he will be deceived, so that we may prevail against him and take our revenge on him." But the Lord is with me like a dread champion...[Jeremiah 20: 7 - 11]

I can identify with that! Please don't sympathise with me. But I do feel like a fish out of water, a square peg in a round hole, a laughingstock! But more than that I know the 'burning fire shut up in my bones', and the weariness of holding it in!

The note on my desk was some notes I took for it goes on to talk about quitting. Apparently the Bible is full of people who quit, reconsidered and changed the world. (These are the notes I took.) Wanting to quit is a sign of success. You can have the luxury of wanting to quit, as long as you know you will never quit. Every time you overcome the urge to quit you open up the possibility that anything could happen. And those who think to quit should, instead, ask questions pertaining to what's on the other side of 'quit'. Those are the sum total of my notes on this piece of paper.

Why would this make its way to the top of the stuff that lies on my desk? A note about quitting!

There's only two answers to that. I either quit, or I don't.
I am writing this and bang, at the exact moment a video is shared on Facebook. The video is about 'being missional'. So I click on it and watch it.
The presenter is slick in his rap presentation of 'being missional' but he begins with sharing that he used to hold the 'stereotypical concept of mission' that as being 'rice fields in Cambodia...'
Wow! That cuts! That mocks! That denounces!
So mission is no longer preaching the gospel in some place but some airy-fairy declaration that people don't do anyway, presented in a rap style!
Please! I don't criticise your mission, please don't criticise mine. My call is real, whether you want to believe it or not!

I'm into 'mission' so I viewed and listened and as I did so the question came again; I can either quit or not.

Quit would be easy and, no doubt, would release you all from the irritation of this blog.

But sadly, for me and you, the message of the grace of God in Christ Jesus 'in my heart...becomes like a burning fire shut up in my bones; And I am weary of holding it in, and I cannot endure it.'

 It's a burning fire shut up in my bones that I have to release. To not is a weary place, I cannot endure it!'

Where to from here?...

You like that picture? I only add pictures to try and make it a bit more interesting.

This one though does kind of represent, visually, were I stand at the moment.

The problem is when I stand at these points God reminds me of something...always!
It is very inconvenient!
He reminds me of this...I sometimes take teams of people with me to Cambodia. We have conducted two large youth camp events and because I am far from being 'youth' I have, on these occasions, taken some real youth with me.
I have always prompted some preparation for their trip by encouraging them to write down their testimony, how they became a Christian, because this is always a good place to start when sharing the gospel. Nothing better than a story of how you personally have been impacted by Jesus! So they do this and ultimately a day will come when God will say 'so and so' is sharing today. When I turn to 'so and so' and tell them that God says they are up today mostly they turn to jelly!
I then share with them that it is my experience that when we feel like jelly the best thing is to clutch our piece of paper, our written down testimony, and head for the front. I tell them that I can categorically assure them that when they get to the front Jesus will be there. And He always is! I have seen jelly turn to solid rock of truth and revelation before my very eyes, many times!

So what has this story got to do with me?
As I stand at the crossroads waiting on the breakthrough I am absolutely convinced is coming, in Jesus name, I feel as if God wants me to head toward the front, trusting that He will be there! But how can I do that?
I don't have....

I haven't been well for a couple of days and so I have had a lot of time to think. For years now we have been sharing Jesus in rural Cambodia via little gospel rallies, celebrations of Jesus. Many, many thousands of people have become Christians, many have been baptised and many churches planted. Along the way we rejoice that many acts of 'deed' have accompanied the 'word' in fulfillment of our mission statement... (www.cambododiawtl.org.au)
I rejoice in that.

I like history. Always have. It was one of my favourite subjects at school. I was thinking today and I thought about my brief understanding of the history of Cambodia. A developing nation saw the rich, mainly gathered in the city, receiving the benefits of education, and investment. The poor, on the other hand, remained desperately poor. They lived in the country and resentment grew. Ultimately a revolution happened and the poor rose up and the desperate result was that millions of Cambodians died, mainly the educated and rich, at the hands of their own people. That was the Khmer Rouge revolution.
They say that history repeats itself, and there are many examples of that phenomenon down through history.
Today investment pours into Cambodia by the bucket load. Phnom Penh, today, is unrecognisable from that which I first saw in 2001. The rich get richer. Often they still consider themselves poor but this just amplifies to me the insatiable desire they have for wealth, as if wealth equals life. The cars they drive are a prime example. I am considered rich because I am western but I could never afford the vehicles they easily afford!
Meanwhile the poor remain poor. I am so glad that God's direction for WTL is clearly toward the poor, not toward those who just think they are poor. Please do not misunderstand that statement. In some respects you need to be closely acquainted with Cambodia to understand what I say fully.

As I considered this I was somewhat alarmed. The raw material is there for history to repeat itself.
God forbid!
I then saw a revolution. I saw why I am called to preach in the provinces because it is from there that the revolution will come. This will not be a revolution brandishing AF47s, and hoes, and death pits, and torture and torment but a revolution of the love of Jesus. The banner of the Lordship of Christ will be raised first in rural Cambodia. And we are an integral part of that. I believe it! I am called to share Grace. I am called to have the people sit down, that is a position of rest, a position of peace. The coming revolution will be done sitting down receiving the King!

Then why am I standing here at these crossroads?

Money! God has promised financial breakthrough. Yesterday a friend of mine posted a comment on Facebook questioning the morality of some arch that is proposed to be built in Sydney. Reports apparently vary but the price tag of this arch is put at either $3,000,000 or $9,000,000 depending on which paper you read. I reflected on what I could do with $9,000,000!
Financial breakthrough. We don't see it yet. All we see is a very high wall, and the gates are shut up tight. All we see is an approaching enemy hell bent on destruction. But we do hear a voice which says,

'The Lord said..."See, I have given Jericho into your hand, with its king and the valiant warriors. You shall march..."' [Joshua 6: 2 - 3]

We hear...

'"You need not fight this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, o Judah and Jerusalem, Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the Lord is with you."' [2 Chronicles 20: 17] 

Does anyone know what the name Emmaus means? It was to Emmaus the the two disciples were going when Jesus came and joined Himself to them but they didn't recognise Him. I don't want to get into a study of this story but the truth is that these two disciples were certainly downcast, unsure, questioning. Apparently, according to the oracle, Google, Emmaus means 'an earnest longing' and there were hot springs there. So did they need a bath, or were they earnestly longing for the answer? Not sure but for me at this moment that isn't really the point. The point is that as they went Jesus joined Himself to them and went with them. Ultimately they 'saw' Him...what a revelation that must have been! Their earnest longing must certainly have been satisfied...but...if they had never set out on the road to 'Earnest Longing' they would not have had the revelation of the only One who can satisfy earnest longing.

I want to step on the journey. I believe the Lord wants me, and my team in Cambodia and in Australia, to begin. To start. To head for the front. To begin the journey to Emmaus...

Then why am I standing at these crossroads?

I have no real idea why I have shared this. Maybe it will help you. Maybe you can help me. Maybe God will use it to prompt something in someone...I have to believe in the promise of the provision of God. I really have nothing else I can do!

Here's another nice picture to finish with...I like this one because WTL is the road, the avenue, God says, that we must walk down into the fullness of His plan. WTL means 'Way, Truth, Life' because Jesus is our centrepiece, we follow only Him...but here I stand...

Never Give Up...

This came on Facebook this morning and it really fanned the flames of my thoughts of late, and this morning...

I was thinking of Jesus.
You know the devil got it seriously wrong because he thought that if he killed Jesus then the purpose of God, the redemption and reconciliation of the world, would be destroyed. His thinking was if I kill the Son of God then nothing stands in my way of bringing total destruction to the creation created in the image of God.
I think he got a massive shock one day when Jesus made a statement of truth that shocked him. Jesus was having a conversation with the Pharisees and He says to them, "I have authority to lay it (His life) down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father." [John 10: 18]
As Jesus made that statement I believe the enemy took a gasp.

From then on the enemy's strategy changed and he began trying to divert Jesus from the path before Him. Consider Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. He is in a torment and His sweat is as great drops of blood falling. Can we really enter in to what were His thoughts and feelings as He considered all before Him? We cannot! Man would do their worst with the whip and the word, they would heap their abuse and mockery upon Him and nail Him on a cross and when they had done their worst His Father would turn His back on Him as our sin, total and complete, was laid upon Him. Can we enter into that? No. Man turned their back on God, and in response God turned His back on His Son as He bore our sins in His own body on our account.
If you have watched the Mel Gibson film, 'The Passion of the Christ', you will see the garden scene when the serpent comes and slithers his deception and diversion around the feet of Jesus. The Bible tells us that angels were sent to come and minister to Jesus as He says to His Father, "If it is possible Father let this cup pass from Me, nevertheless, not My will, but Your will be done.' [Matthew 26: 39]
In the movie we see His victory aptly displayed as Jesus raises His foot and crushes the head of the enemy! It is a powerful image!

Our direction has recently been directed toward the story of the children of Israel, and Joshua, gathered outside the shut up walls of Jericho in Joshua 6. The encouragement of the preachers was to not give up on six. If the children of Israel had stopped on six the walls would never have come down.

I have been in ministry for thirteen years. How many times have I thought to give up? Thousands! Almost daily! Now I do not present myself as a model for there are many better. Think of Paul who was beaten, and stoned, and starved, and shipwrecked and yet pressed on. Think of Jesus who had the most difficult path before Him but said 'not my will, but Your will be done.'
Recently, I was challenged during a discussion about the constant battering of doubt that we experience in our calls and I just felt that it was important to declare that I believe, and that I don't really know what else to do. I suppose if God had given me an immense career in some field then my purpose could be devoted to and engulfed by the pursuit of that, but I don't have that path. All I have is a call that I received on a hot day in the back of a ute in Cambodia. All I have is the promise of God through many people who have declared the plan of God over my life to bring Grace to the nations. All I have is a love of sharing the gospel and seeing the Lord move by His Spirit in bringing many to Himself. All I have is His revelation of Himself through His Spirit. All I have is in-dwelling Life. All I have is His strengthening, His guidance, His blessing.

I don't have anything else so there is nothing else to say except 'I believe' and to start on one more circuit of the high wall that seemingly stands between me and the breakthrough God has declared. I do hear His voice that says to me, "Who do you think I am?" and as that resounds in my spirit I can do nothing else but say 'I believe'.
I believe you Lord when You say, as you did to Joshua, and the children of Israel, all those years ago...

"See, I have given Jericho into your hand, with its king and the valiant warriors..."

Lord, I don't 'see' often but I choose to believe.

Now back to the beginning of this post.
'The devil doesn't know what to do with somebody who won't give up'.
Why is that? I believe it is because of  Colossians 2: 12.
It says there...

'...you were also raised with Him...'

The devil made a serious miscalculation when he thought he could kill God's purpose by killing His Son, and the devil has made a serious miscalculation when he thinks he can kill the purpose of God by killing off your call because just as Jesus had the power to rise again He has bestowed that same life on us, the life of the Spirit. We live because He lives. It is in that Life that we won't give up.

As we receive His life we live, and by His Spirit we can say, 'I believe, I will not give up.'

Let me finish with this. I love this verse.

'Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is LIBERTY.' [2 Corinthians 3: 17]