Good?...Really?...

This is my blog so I guess I can say what I want! In a way I guess this is a bit like a journal, a journal that I subject you to...but then again you don't have to read it I guess! Anyway this week has been a difficult but important week...

Thursday 16th October.

Last night a friend of mine told me he had been reading about the experience of Peter in Acts 10. You remember how Peter was on the housetop and he was hungry and he falls into a trance and he sees a sheet coming down from heaven, full of animals, and God says to him, "Get up, kill, eat" and he responds that he can't because the animals are unclean to which God responds that what He has cleaned is not to be considered unclean. You know the story?
Anyway my friend asks me a question.
This is the question...
"Why didn't God just tell Peter what He wanted him to do? Why not just tell him?"
Great question!
My answer was a stumbling, bumbling one...
"Because God wanted Peter to receive a revelation of who God is."
Hmmm! Totally unsatisfactory answer!
Then we sit down to pray and someone thanks God for His goodness...and I think...'God is good...really?' Now before you jump up and run off and report me to the Heretic Council please let me tell you that I definitely believe that God is good, and that it is perfectly acceptable and desirable to pray thanking Him for His goodness!

I have a problem. It is big. I need breakthrough. The Lord has said through more people than I can enumerate that the breakthrough is coming. Dates have been given and those dates have come and gone. The fact is this; I can't deal with this problem. This problem is totally beyond me...and I mean, TOTALLY beyond me. Only this morning I have said to God that I can't do this. There is only one avenue of relief open to me, I need a miracle. That's all!

This problem has been before me for a long time but lately it is all coming to a head. It is immense. The provision of God has also been before me for a long time through words of scripture, words of knowledge, pictures, visions, prophecies that have been delivered to me from almost all points of the globe.
And then my friend asks his question.

Let me tell you of my last few days...

Its start was actually some years ago. I make a decision to receive grace...Grace. This may sound strange to you, stupid, in fact, but the fact is until you are presented with truth, and truth is grace, then you will think me stupid. Plenty of people know Jesus but many don't know Grace. Sorry! It's a fact.
But I made a decision to receive Grace. Not just grace but Grace, Radical Grace. That's where this began.

Since that time God has blessed me with all the words of encouragement that I alluded to above and strangely, in a way, these have all added to my problem. The bottom line of all these things is that I believe that God is good and He is my God of breakthrough, and that He has broken through over me...the problem being that this breakthrough hasn't materialised (yet) in the physical.
I believe it is finished in the spiritual in the finished work of Jesus (that is Grace) but it has yet to be fulfilled physically.

Now I need the breakthrough. I'm not planning to tell you the details. If you want to know, or if you feel that God is speaking to you that you are the answer, or an answer, to that breakthrough then you ask Him. The Holy Spirit will tell you and then it is up to you what you do with that!

So I have been waiting. Word upon word has come to me. Even dates have been given to me as the day of breakthrough, dates that are described as new beginning days and still nothing. This has been going on and on for a long time.

Now I'm not superman. I don't have a big 'S' on the front of my shirt and I don't wear my underpants on the outside of my trousers! Faced with a mounting problem, faced with a mountain of prophetic word and faced with a conviction that my God is good and is my breakthrough that seems to have no result I get to a point where I think that I must have got it all wrong and the thought trickles into my mind, 'GIVE UP.'

So that's where I got to a few days ago. Give up.

I'm just going to then share with you, the reader, what has happened since. You can think about it and if you have any revelation then please share it with me. You can share that privately if you want, it's up to you. I'm not looking for wise words, I don't need to be told that my strategy is wrong or that I need some planning or that without these things my call is illegitimate. I am looking for revelation. Revelation is the domain of the Holy Spirit. That is all that interests me.

You know one of the things that you may know about me, particularly if you follow me on Facebook is that I like to write. Every morning I get up early, I spend some time meditating and praying, I think about the Word and I write down my thoughts. My meditation might be prompted by a devotion, or by a scripture I have been thinking about, or by something I saw or heard and I write about it. My writing is mainly for me because I like doing it and if you are blessed in some way by it then I am thankful for that bonus blessing for you. One thing that has been shared with me in the past was that God will use what I say and what I write as a means of my breakthrough...so I suppose I am just exercising that word. (While I think of that I am immediately reminded that God also said that, 'the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want...'...just a thought!)
Anyway the thought is 'give up' so I decide not to write anymore. I stop...at least for a few days.

This is a storm. The waves are monstrous, the wind is howling...my little boat is being tossed too and fro. I'm like the disciples...I'm standing over Jesus who appears to be sleeping and I'm saying, "Jesus! Don't you care that I'm perishing? DON'T YOU CARE THAT I'M PERISHING, JESUS?"

My brother writes to me saying that he 'needs to hear from me.' I hadn't spoken with him for a few days. I say to him, 'My brother, I do not know what to say. No breakthrough comes...(I have deleted a bit here)...I am sorry my brother but I do not know what to say. He answers me, 'I know you go though a big storm. I receive His love for you.'
Then, later, he says, 'I feel so sad for you. How much more our heavenly Father feeling, thinking, passioning for you my brother!'
And, still later, he asks me a question, 'Do you see this is the way of your breakthrough?'
Do I see? Not quite.
Then my brother says, 'All people want to get their breakthrough but they do not believe this is the road (wilderness) of their breakthrough. God is leading WTL through fire because He loves us very much, so He patient (hurts) to see us go through the hard time, but He wants us to get to the fountain of water!'
I'm slow. I answer, 'Yes, my brother. It is so hard. I speak Grace and I write Grace but I see no breakthrough just trial and difficulty. I am sorry my brother. I don't know what to say to you.'
He answers, 'You write and speak Grace but you need to experience Grace. Why Mary from Bethany did not go to the tomb to anoint His body?  Because she experience about her brother raised from the dead. I believe Jesus believe for your financial freedom breakthrough that He come and die for you. When will it happen? It is when you get revelation about Him on financial freedom breakthrough. This is what I believe.'

I had also shared with my brother about a problem I have been having for months with my right shoulder. Finally I had been to the doctor to reveal a tear in the tendon and inflammation. My brother asks me how my shoulder is and I say, 'My arm cannot do as it used to do. I need my Right Arm.' To which my brother replies, 'I remember Jesus healed a man that his right arm withered. It means God wants to heal our prosperity because we use our right arm to earn money. The enemy does not want you to prosper, but God will turn bad to good for you because He loves you. I believe your miracle going to take place soon. Do you get His revelation about it yet?'

So this is the conversation that has followed my decision of last weekend to write no more, which is a response to the thought, 'give up.'

Now the title of this blog is 'Good?...Really?...'

Sometime, maybe Monday, I say to God I need to hear something. 'Don't you know that I'm perishing here? Don't you care? Jesus! Why are you sleeping? JESUS!'
I have a little devotion I use. I use more than one but this particular one I open it up and this is what it says...

This is Monday.
Christ is our mercy seat and this is the meeting place with God...the mercy seat.. I have been banging on for months about entering the Holy Place, the meeting place with God, as typified by the tabernacle of the Old Testament. It is here we find the mercy seat. I don't want to turn this into a great teaching session, you can read my thoughts about this by looking at my Facebook page, or reading previous posts on this blog. The point is having asked God for something the first thing He gives me is the mercy seat. I probably don't need to remind you that Hebrews 4: 16 encourages us to 'draw near, approach boldly, the throne of grace where we will receive mercy and find grace in time of need.' I think there is a lot in the fact that we 'receive mercy' and 'find grace.' We approach and mercy is ours...everyone who approaches gets mercy, praise God for that! But we have to find grace. Oh, it is just as freely available as mercy but we have to 'find' it. Maybe that's a thought for another post!
So God's first response is to direct me back to where He has brought me already but in my haziness I had missed the point. Do I still miss the point? Probably.

Tuesday.
The scripture today is this. 'The Lord will command the blessing on you in your storehouses...' [Deuteronomy 28: 8] Remember my right shoulder? I agree with my brother that the enemy does not want our prosperity and this problem shows that the Lord will breakthrough with His good. I also believe the Lord is saying to my dull revelation that my breakthrough isn't based in my right arm...it is based in my Right Arm! It is based in the Lord's commandment. And not only that the blessing will be commanded by the Lord in my storehouses...existing storehouses. I'm not required to pull down my barns and build greater, in fact that is discouraged,  He will command blessings on my storehouses...my bank account might look bleak but His command will change all that! Why will He do this? Why will He command this? Because we obey His commandment! What is His commandment to me? To believe. To believe in what? To believe in Jesus, the expression of the love of God. 'God SO LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten Son...[John 3: 16]

Wednesday.
Today it says this. 'A present is a precious stone in the eyes of its possessor; wherever he turns, he prospers.' [Proverbs 17: 8] This one perplexed me and even now I'm still thinking about it. The devotion is saying that we all have 'gifts' and when we combine our gift with His wisdom then 'wherever (we) turn, (we) prosper.' The problem is I don't see much gift when I look at me! The other thing that stumbled me was this; another version puts this verse like this, 'A bribe is a charm in the sight of its owner; when he turns, he prospers.' Seems a bit different to me! A bribe is something that is illegal and that gets us something we perhaps don't deserve. But I guess that is the point isn't it? I look at me and I see no real gift. I don't deserve it but does that mean I don't have it. In Christ everything I have and am I didn't deserve. I deserved what He got, so I really can't say I don't deserve it because He gave His unassailable life to give it to me. His love did that. I need to receive the fact that He loves me. (Am I making sense?)...I hear my brother's question...'Do you see this is the way of your breakthrough?'

Thursday. This is today.
'He is able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.' Jesus is alive. The mercy seat of the Old Testament tabernacle with its glorious golden purity, and its position over the ark of the covenant which contained the testimony, and its cherubim points to the burial place of Jesus. But the fact is that when we get to see the burial place, with its cherubim, one at the head and the other at the foot they aren't there to watch over His body, they are there to herald His Life. That doesn't mean this is no longer the mercy seat, it still is, but it has taken on a infinitely greater significance in that Jesus has risen. He is alive!!!!!!!! And His living is for a purpose...to make intercession. and His intercession is for a purpose...to save to the uttermost!!! He wants to save me to the uttermost! Why? Because He is alive. Why is He alive? Because He died. Why did He die? To bring me to restoration. What is my restoration? Double what sin gave away. Why? Because He loves me.
HE LOVES ME.

This isn't finished yet. Can't wait to see what tomorrow says. (Written 16th October, 2104)

Friday.
So I wake at 4.45 AM anticipating what the Lord may say to me today. I asked for His encouragement and He does not disappoint. He is a good God.
The devotional this morning gives the scripture from 2 Corinthians 3: 18. This is an oft quoted scripture but, sadly, when quoted it is taken in isolation and so its interpretation, sometimes, does not fit with its context. The passage is about Law and Grace, it is so clear, and so the veil is undoubtedly the veil of the Law. The devotion speaks of us beholding not ourselves, which is what we see if we look in a mirror, but rather Christ in us. The point made is that is we 'see' Him then we will see He is not sick, which we may be, and not poor, which we may be and as we look if we see Him then transformation will take place. It is impossible that it will not. As we behold His glory we will be transformed by the revelatory work of the Holy Spirit. The truth is Colossians 1: 27, '...Christ in us, the hope of glory.'
But as I meditate on these things the Lord takes me to Zechariah 4. It is important that I quote it.

'Then the angel who was speaking with me returned and roused me, as a man who is awakened from his sleep. He said to me, "What do you see?" And I said, "I see, and behold, a lampstand all of gold with its bowl on the top of it, and its seven lamps on it with seven spouts belonging to each of the lamps which are on the top of it; also with two olive trees by it, one on the right side of the bowl and the other on its left side." Then I said to the angel who was speaking with me saying, "What are these, my lord?" So the angel who was speaking with me answered and said to me, "Do you not know what these are?" And I said, "No, my lord." Then He said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel saying, 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord of hosts. 'What are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become a plain; and he will bring forth the top stone with shouts of "Grace, grace to it!"" Also the word of the Lord came to me, saying, "The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundation of this house, and his hands will finish it. Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. For who has despised the day of small things? But these seven will be glad when they see the plumb line in the hand of Zerubbabel -- these are the eyes of the Lord which range to and fro throughout the earth." Then I said to him, "What are these two olive trees on the right of the lampstand and on its left?" And I answered the second time and said to him, "What are the two olive branches which are beside the two golden pipes, which empty the golden oil from themselves?" So he answered me, saying, "Do you not know what these are?" And I said, "These are the two anointed ones who are standing by the Lord of the whole earth."' [Zechariah 4: 1 - 14]

Its a long passage I know, making this a long post...but I don't really care! The Lord speaks and He says to me, "I have called you to be Zerubbabel, You will speak 'Grace, grace to it' and the the top stone, the keystone will come forth. With the top stone removed the mountain that stands before you will become a plain. The foundation you have laid you will complete. The beginning may appear to be small but do not despise it. I am glad when I see the plumb line of My Word in your hand. My eyes are on on you.I am in your midst."

Then the Lord shows me the logo of WTL, two logos, two trees and He says to me, "These are my olive trees, one on either side of my lampstand, near to the the golden pipes that empty the golden oil. You are right near to My Spirit who is releasing His golden oil of anointing upon you, to guide you and lead you; not by your might or power, but by MY Spirit. The anointed ones are your brother, Samnang, and you, set apart by me to stand by the Lord of the whole earth." These are His words to me this day! Hallelujah! What can I say? I have nothing to say to this!
And then I open Facebook and there is a post...I share it with you.

The post said this, 

'If you've been feeling short-changed in life, investing more than you get back, sowing more than you reap, faithful to people who are not faithful to you. Don't worry, God has not forgotten you, He's going to restore everything you didn't get. This is your season of restoration! The Lord will restore to you the years that the locusts, cankerworms and palmerworms have eaten. [Joel 2: 25]

If you know me these are the first words I heard from the Lord in April 2000.

"then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust,...[Joel 2: 25] 

These words turned my life upside-down.
Do you think God has His eye on me?
Is God good?
We need then to see the rest of God's word that surrounds His promise to me fulfilled in His provision of the finished work of Jesus...read with me...

'Then the Lord will be zealous...The Lord will answer and say to His people, "Behold, I am going to send you grain, new wine and oil, and you will be satisfied in full with them...Do not fear,...rejoice and be glad, for the Lord has done great things...the pastures of the wilderness have turned green, for the tree has born its fruit, the fig tree and the vine have yielded in full. So rejoice, O sons of Zion, and be glad in the Lord your God; For He has given you the early rain for your vindication. And He has poured down for you the rain, the early and latter rain as before. The threshing floor will be full with grain, and the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; then My people will never be put to shame. Thus you will know that I am in the midst of Israel, and I am the Lord your God, and there is no other; and My people will never be put to shame."'

Yes and Amen.
I will say no more now. Maybe I will add more later but can I ask you...if you were me, would you be encouraged?

Thank You Lord, You are good, Your lovingkindness endures forever and ever.

Graeme Shephard
17th October, 2015