Madness?...

I'm not really sure who reads this blog or why. To be honest I write here (and also on my Facebook page) as much for myself as for others who may read it as I feel the need to unload the things God speaks to me about and I have little venue to do this. However, if you do read my writings I want to thank you, it means a lot to me, and I pray that in some way you may be blessed for my thoughts and sharing.

I have something very much on my mind and I want to lay it out and if God prompts you to respond with something from Him then I would love it if you would share it with me.
My email address is graemeshephard@cambodiawtl.org.au.

I have been engaged by God in Cambodia for thirteen years.
It was April 2001 that God called me. I have shared that story before.
As I consider all that God has done with me, and with WTL, I am quite simply astounded.
In 2000 I met God who said to me that He would restore the years the locusts had eaten and He has not failed in that. Thousands have received Christ, hundreds of churches have begun, thousands have been baptised, children, elderly and many in between have been ministered to, wells have been dug, local Cambodian ministries supported, pastors helped, the army and prisons opened to the gospel...I could go on.
It astounds me, and I am so thankful.

Recently WTL has been given NGO status in Cambodia and we, myself and my team, have so much opportunity before us with dreams so big and tasks so extensive and we have a God of promise who has poured out His prophecy and word over us so we sit today in a place of great expectation.

I could share with you all that God has spoken over us through many, many people but suffice to say we have received God as THE God of all Grace and we believe without doubt that He will never fail us in all that He has promised. He has shown us that His promises are completely fulfilled in the finished work of Jesus and that the Bible, the words He has spoken from His word over us, are no longer promises but provision as they are completely ours in the completed work of Jesus. We rejoice in Him and there is so, so much I could say about this but it would make this very long so I will stop there.

Can I share then about me?

As I have already said what I am about to share has been very much before me for some time and I feel that it is very much coming to a head, almost like a kettle coming to the boil.
I have never amounted to much in my personal life. I have taken significant criticism about this which has hurt me but in truth I cannot say I have had any great success in life. I have never made a lot of money. I have had no real career to speak of. I have spent significant years just 'bumming' around, years that most of my peers were spending establishing themselves in a career or business. That's the background to the background.
For significant years of my life Christianity has been a source of great frustration to me as I have bumbled along trying to be a 'good Christian' until a few years ago I was introduced to a God of radical grace. God has spoken great and marvelous things over me which I embrace wholeheartedly. Things have happened which have astounded and surprised me and in it all I have waited for the breakthrough God has promised.
You see for WTL to pursue the road before us funds are required. It is a fact. God has shown clearly that the bounty will fall on me and as it falls on me it will fall on those around me, those that God has given me, Benjamin's, sons of the right hand, totally sold out to the God of all grace. He has shown us that He will touch the world, not just Cambodia, through our ministry. But still we wait.

Recently the Lord showed me that while we may feel that we are waiting on God He, in fact, is waiting for us. God is waiting for me!
Much could be shared around this but I will get to the bottom line and if you read this and have encouragement and edification from the Lord please use the email address above.

The Lord has called me out.
Yes, out of my work, out of paid employment but more importantly to Himself.
He has asked me if I really believe that He is God and is able to provide.
He constantly impresses on me that He wants me to step out into His fullness.
He gently challenges me that I am to practice what I preach and throw myself totally and completely at His feet.
He has given me a special task to 'have the people sit down' but within that He calls ME to sit down.
Still I wait.
Like most would, I guess, I wait for the bounty with the intention that when it comes I will then step out. Sounds sensible to you? Yes, I think so.
But hear me today, 7th May 2014. Today I feel that God is waiting for me and when I step out He will open the floodgates but He is waiting for me. I feel that for me to step completely into His call on my life I must be totally, TOTALLY, undoubtedly reliant on Him. I must completely decrease for Him to have His increase in me. It is years ago that I had this overwhelming sense that I had to die for LIFE to be fully revealed in me.

Now I am no different to you. I have a mortgage. I have some debts. I have a wife and family. My daughter is at school and has a massive God-filled path before her. I feel the pressure of the financial burdens we all feel. I often see lack. I'm no different to you.

But in the midst of all that God is calling to me to step out. Come away. Trust in Me, He says, with ALL your heart, lean not on your own understanding, trust not in your own plans; acknowledge Me, He says, declare that I am God and that I can provide when you are totally sold out to Me, believe that I can do it; He calls me to believe that He is God and He will make my paths straight, He will take out the valleys and the mountains, He will take out the bends and the curves; God says, your paths will be straight and you will follow.

I feel that God is saying to me that I must take a faith step, like Abraham, and leave on a journey to which I cannot see the destination. Abram began his journey as Abram but in the hand of God became Abraham, the father of many nations. That is my call. I am like Jeremiah who God called and set apart and appointed and, like Jeremiah, I am appointed to the nations and despite my lack of qualification wherever God sends me I will go, and what He gives me to speak I will speak, that He has put His words in my mouth and He has appointed me over the nations and kingdoms to pluck up and break down, to destroy and overthrow and to build and to plant.
I do not share this to in any way inflate myself. I take my call so seriously but today, this day, I am so challenged that for the rain of blessing to fall I must step on a journey with a destination I cannot see and until I step the breakthrough will be withheld.

So, I entitled this post 'Madness? Am I mad? Or can the Lord give you that one thing that I need to step through. I really, really appreciate any who choose to pray for me. I know I speak often in riddles, I find it so hard to speak plainly but I feel that I, and WTL, stand on the edge of glory and I want to step through but I am afraid. Lord, give me strength, and peace and hope and be glorified.

I'll say no more...this must sound like the ramblings of a mad man but frankly I am happy to be mad for the glory and purposes of God to be realised completely in me. I know that without Him nothing is possible and that with Him the impossible is mine but still I stand on the threshold of the door. Can someone, prompted by the Lord, come behind and push?

Graeme Shephard
graemeshephard@cambodiawtl.org.au
www.cambodiawtl.org.au

PS: I have never been one to have night dreams. I never remember my dreams. But in the last week I have had two dreams which I have vividly remembered.
The first...I have in my hand a tiny seed. It is tiny. God holds out His hand to me and I put the seed in His hand. He closes His hand and then immediately opens it again and standing in His hand is a fully grown oak tree. Now the oak tree is fully grown but it has no soil around its roots, for it is completely rooted in God's hand. Can you see it? If you check the WTL website you will see our logo...a tree. I'm a bit slow for someone had to point that fact out to me even though I look at that logo almost every day.
The second dream was this...there are two armies facing one another. My army is made up of children, many, many children. Both armies have old fashioned style cannons into which they can load cannonballs, and all manner of shrapnel. We have chosen not to use our cannons to fire on the enemy but the opposing army is firing cannonballs into the sky so the sky is black with the cannonballs but as they fall they don't appear to hurt the children. I build a cover of steel over the children, in fact, in the night I sneak into the opposing camp and steal a truck full of cannonballs and I melt them down to make the shield over my children. As the cannonballs from the enemy fall they make a horrible sound on the covering so I give all my children ear protectors so they can't hear the noise. At that point the alarm went off!
Interesting? What do you think?